Sardine?

The ‘Burbs (1989)

Join me for, “a week in Jonestown,” with The ‘Burbs—which skews us nicely into the unmistakable realm of a real, childhood filmmaking staple of mine, Joe Dante—director of GremlinsGremlins 2: The New Batch, and Innerspace. Here, a slightly peculiar-looking Universal logo morphs, as we track in until we’re directly over a neighbourhood—not dissimilar to my own cul-de-sac as a kid, albeit giant-sized and Americana-fied, complete with spinny sprinklers, a mornin’ cuppa Joe, and a paperboy straight out of the ‘80s computer game. Already, the film’s lofty statements on comfort and country are steadily unfurling. The clinking and clanking of the score accompanies the continuing push-in to a fantastic miniature, as a harpsichord plays, and a basement ignites with light, as we’re introduced to our man of the hour, and hero of the piece—Tom Hanks’ pajama-clad, Ray Peterson. Yes, Mr. Peterson makes fun of hydrocephalus sufferers, and impulsively chucks coffee at kids, but he’s a decent man—he just wants to hang around the house and be lazy.

The zany, whacked-out Dante tone mostly consists of a blend of heightened slapstick, or jet black humour, light moments of clever comedy, along with elaborate action scenes, and horror-inspired surrealism, such as Ray’s freaky ‘burbsmare—featuring cannibals, and a satanic, Idi Amin BBQ, dream sacrifice with a chainsaw. Clearly inspired by vintage animation, Art’s body-shaped hole in the shed roof, is straight out of Roadrunner—fitting, as Dante would go on to make Looney Tunes: Back in Action in 2003. The ‘Burbs‘ use of classic horror tropes and homages, such as The Exorcist, and Leatherface on the TV, the crooked porch swing that’s straight outta The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, or The Evil Dead, owls hoot, ominous clonks resound, and echoes of The Addams Family, and The Munsters are loud and clear, and The Klopek’s interior uses canted framing—the Dutch, to articulate that something’s off, as Ray and Art do their breaking and and entering bit. This isn’t really a shock from the director of Piranha, and The Howling, but what’s magnificent about Dante is his seamless blending of disparate qualities to communicate his unique vision, and retain the levity of the picture. He shepherds this Dante mood with flair and poise, and manages to maintain his distinct voice. It’s enviable—to take material like this, carve out a personal perspective, and never let it overpower the story—just compliment, and flavour it. Dante’s awareness of cinema in general means we feel as if we’re in safe, knowledgeable hands. He’s a filmmaker who has studied movies, and therefore knows when to hit us with the clichés, and when to veer away for maximum surprise, and satisfaction. The spaghetti western reference, where he tracks in on Queenie the dog, says it all, and reminds us exactly where he stands. It’s all for fun—film-literate fun. 

The ensemble is a dream. First and foremost, as obvious as it may be to state, one of my absolute favourite actors of all-time is Tom Hanks. His mile-a-minute mind, and exasperation expressed with faux-yelling, an erratic crushing of beer cans, and hysterically yelping like Woody in Toy Story. Hanks emerging from the Klopek’s nightmare inferno house like a half-destroyed T-800 is always hilarious, as are his pitch-perfect, cacophonous, sardine allergy sneezes. Actor and comedian, Rick Ducommun, as Art Weingardner, is no doubt an acquired taste—but in small doses, as seen here, he’s actually excellently cast. Nutty, crotchety veteran war machine, Mr. Rumsfield (Bruce Dern), has the coolest title credit bestowed upon him, and the foxy Wendy Schaal as the scantily-clad, no-tanlined, Mrs. Rumsfield charms as per. Carrie Fisher is more than welcome as Carol Peterson—in a decent, kinda maternal role, as Ray’s put upon wife, sick of his nosiness and unhealthy obsessions with the batty neighbours, which she pairs marvellously with a cool detachment, and simultaneous understanding. Finally, Corey Feldman dials in one of his better performances as Ricky—a chirpy, chipper, stoner dude, who relishes in the ensuing suburban drama, loves his street, and boasts it’s better than television.

The Klopeks represent everyone we ever wondered about. Have you ever hypothesised about someone’s nocturnal habits? Are they unusual, or are we? Are we the lunatics? There’s a profound statement in there—it just takes one nosy parker to start the fire of paranoia, then it spreads via fear. Fear of foreigners, and new residents in the cul-de-sac, and a crippling fear of differences, and standing out in any way at all. Then finally, just when you thought it was safe, The ‘Burbs’ death rattle wrap-up ultimately echoes Kurt Cobain—via Catch-22’s rich sentiment of, “Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not after you.”

A Rough Night for Rockin’ Ricky

Gremlins (1984)

Joe Dante’s festive fable meets creature feature, Gremlins, shares its slimy birthday with another childhood staple of mine—Ghostbusters. The summer of ’84 peculiarly heralded the arrival of these two, genre-bending faves. I discussed my love for Ivan Reitman’s supernatural, SNL cast-caper on our recent HalloRe’ewind podcast and blog alongside Devlin, and mentioned a Ghostbusters & Gremlins double bill would’ve been preferable to my eventual Ghostbusters & Ghostbusters II pairing, but Gremlins is (along with Die Hard) my go-to Crimbo flick, and it seemed so much more appropriate to pick it here.

I’ve had a realisation over the last couple of weeks about these Rewind throwback films. We sometimes ask ourselves, “Do they hold up?” Perhaps we should be asking how much we’ve changed. Do we hold up? Have we forgotten who we were? The films don’t alter—unless George Lucas made them. Frame for frame, Gremlins is the same movie I saw as a kid. I feel the same way about Gremlins as I did back then, except I tend to turn my nose up at some of the more overtly childish, slapstick Dorry’s Tavern scenes, which I’ve aged out of a bit, but thoroughly loved as a boy.

How often have we heard fanboys moaning about the rubbish Star Wars prequels, and characters like Jar Jar Binks? It’s a kids’ film! Kids like Jar Jar. Yes, the prequels are inferior, but you love the originals because they captured your youth. You’re reframing something to fit you, but you’re fifty years old! Gremlins hasn’t altered, but the same can’t be said for me. It’s 2020; I am George Lucas’ Special Edition of Matt—and who says that’s an improvement? I often think I was a finer, purer judge of films as a kid, with that innocence and no agenda.

Brilliantly termed “icky mayhem” by Leonard Maltin, Gremlins desecrates the American Christmas fairytale in a dark, anarchic manner. It’s both mischievous kiddie horror, and jet-black satirical comedy; as unique as the strange creatures it portrays. For me, what makes Gremlins truly stand out from the crowd as a twisted little gem, is the way it acts as an essential annual antidote to the typical saccharine fare surrounding us this time of year.

Apparently, in ’84, filmgoers returned in droves to cinemas the second weekend after Gremlins’ initial release. I did too—not to the pictures, as I was only two years old, but once it was circled in the Radio Times, taped off the telly, and I’d claimed that VHS as my own, it was rewound and rewatched too many times to count. As I confessed with James Cameron’s AliensGremlins is like an old friend, and an absolute must-watch each year at Christmastime. It may turn some folks off—typically the more mature, traditionalist members of your household, but to quote Marty McFly, “Your kids are gonna love it.”